Unfailing Love Encounter With Him

He declared his love for me long before I was born. My parents loved him so they betrothed me to him. I had no choice in the choosing of my beloved; the choice was made for me.
He was there during my birth and formative years. It was a given that we will be together; after all, everyone loved him.
I used to see him from a distance mostly through the lens of my parents. He was this great guy loved by many and with no flaws.
I didn’t know I had to meet him mostly because I thought we had already met, though from a distance. Our first meeting happened by chance or so I thought: He had planned it all along.

I was young but I fell in love with him. What was there not to love? He was a gentleman who treated me like the Queen He made me believe I was. That was the beginning of our relationship. He held my hands and was always there for me and with me, opening doors and pulling out chairs, my perfect man. He anticipated my needs and wants and provided them even before I knew I had those needs. It was a love to die for.

Then came the storm and rough patches. And before you start to think He caused or contributed to it, NO, it was all me. I was the cause of all our problems. I began to doubt His love for me, even though He daily assured me of His love. I drifted away from Him despite His efforts to bring us back together.

Just then, I met another man. I moved on without a backward glance, even though I knew He was hurting. He pleaded with me to come back and even sent some of His friends to plead His case but I didn’t budge. I wanted to experience all the world had on offer before settling down for one man. I wanted my own experience; after all, they say experience is the best teacher.

I threw His love in His face and went after several men, some very popular and some not. I did all this in secret because I had a reputation to uphold. Everyone knew me as His Queen and I was not ready to explain to anyone that I no longer was. So I went along with the motions, pretending I was still only His. I was leading a double life.
As time went on, my new lovers wanted more of me and it was getting difficult keeping up the pretense of being His Queen.

I started having nightmares of Him exposing me for the fake I was or that He will replace me with someone else. You see, I didn’t want to be His Queen and yet, I didn’t want to be replaced. I had a great sense of entitlement and I felt He belonged to me. I didn’t care if He was hurting or not. Surprisingly enough, He still loved me and wanted me back.
I was always the first to judge and criticize ladies I saw to be whores, not realizing I had myself become one. I was worse than them.

Then came the dawning. My world came crashing down all around me but I was too tired and frail to pick the pieces up. Besides, I didn’t know where to start. I was tired of whoring myself out but too far gone to go back to Him.
“He won’t love me again”, I said. “I don’t even love me. Besides, He would have moved on to someone way better than me”. I cried myself to sleep for several nights.
I had sunk to the lowest point by then. Depression set in and before I knew it, thoughts of ending it all on the altar of suicide clouded my mind. I was tired of living with all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what could have beens’.

I decided to make one last call to Him before I ended it all. He picked up on the first ring, as if He was anticipating my call, and called me His Queen. He said He had been waiting for my call all along. He still loved me.
With tears of regret mingled with that of joy flowing freely down my cheeks, I pinched and slapped myself several times, just to be sure it wasn’t just but a dream.
He still loved me and that was enough to shut the door on depression. He came for me, picked me up from the gutter of my mess, cleaned me up, and reinstated me as His Queen.
I didn’t deserve any of it but He promised to make me whole again. I vowed then and there to make the most of my second chance.

Our wedding is fast approaching and guess what, it could be any day now. I’m back on my feet and growing to love Him more daily. Spending more time with Him and you can literally see me glowing in His Presence.
I had one question for Him though.
Why?
Why do You love me so much?
Why do You love me despite all I have done?
Why did You wait patiently for me? Why?

Putting His finger on my lips to shush me, He said….”don’t you know? I have loved you with an everlasting love. Nothing you do can ever change the way I feel about you. I don’t love you for you; if I did, I will have given up on you since. I love you in spite of you, no conditions attached”.
His answer was enough to bring me to my knees in worship.
Dear Lord Jesus, my King, I’m forever grateful for Your everlasting love. I can never thank You enough. Thank You for always loving me in spite of me.