The middle of the winter, the middle of a pandemic, and in the middle of a political firestorm is the perfect time for temptation to sneak in to try to draw us into some sort of secret pleasure. The allure of porn is a dead-end road that will leave you in the cul-de-sac of disappointment. Let’s look at what I believe are five major lies that the father of all lies uses as his marketing tools and also consider how to avoid them.
Perhaps surprisingly, recent research shows that nearly as many women as men are frequent viewers of pornography. The lies drawing each of them in are almost identical. There is plenty of data to prove it and the porn industry knows it and effectively markets to both men and women. The enemy of our souls diligently is at work trying to steal away the beauty of sex from men and women alike. God designed sex to be a wonderful experience, intended to both create new life and also to regularly renew the bond between husband and wife. My goal is to help both men and women to steer clear of porn’s disappointing traps in order to fulfill God’s purpose for sex.
Lie number one of the illusion that you should view porn is that the person whose nudity is on the other end of that camera is involved with you. Remember that they in reality do not even know you. The fact that he or she, being told as models to “look sexy”, are looking at you alluringly as if they are really attracted to you is concrete evidence of that lie. At least half of the drawing power of porn is the way the actor’s position their bodies combined with the way they look at you. When I am speaking at a men’s conference, I like to tell men that if the models could see you while you were looking at them, they would probably either laugh, or say “Oooh gross!” The same is true for you ladies who are also being lied to by a pornographic image. That hunk of a young man with a great body who is looking at you enticingly through the picture or video is not truly attracted to you. You need to be aware that your fantasy that he is attracted to you is just a deceptive lie.
Lie number two is that your porn experience will be satisfying; in actuality, it will not have the enduring effect of God’s best plan for sex in marriage. You may find that the instant turn-on of an Internet or movie porn experience may arouse you quickly but then you will see it is over just as quickly. It can be compared to the amusement park ride; you may have had to pay a lot to get on but then the rush of the experience is over in just a few minutes and you end up feeling let down after it is done. A married couple however can have a loving and fulfilling experience. God designed sex to be enjoyed by two people who truly know and love each other first and then are further bonded by His design for sexual intimacy. In God’s plan, sex is more like a home-cooked meal than a quick heat up in a microwave oven.
Lie number three is that your porn experience will satisfy your need to be loved and eradicate your loneliness. Porn seems to promise companionship, if only in a fantasy. However the reality is that the photo or video object will not be there to either be embraced or to embrace and love on you after the sexual experience is concluded. In God’s design for marriage, you can each have loving hugs and affection both before and after your sexual experience. Porn’s quick self-stimulation and using some artificial means to bring you to a sexual climax starts with nothing loving and ends with nothing loving. It merely provides a temporary physical release, a release, which is only partially fulfilling. God designed sex and love to go together in marriage. His way is not the way of “porn sex” which by its’ very nature cannot be followed by bonding affection.
Lie number four is that it doesn’t matter that porn lacks the physical touch of the body of your husband or your wife to go along with your sexual experience. Imagining that you are having that physical contact while you engage in self-stimulation will never fulfill this important part of God’s design for the sexual experience. The porn world peddles millions of dollars worth of products that are supposedly designed to offer what an absent porn partner cannot provide because they are M.I.A. The beauty of the love embodied when a husband and wife are wrapped in each others’ arms makes God’s design of sex within marriage of two people that He has joined together completely fulfilling. Porn never will fulfill this God-given need of physical touch.
For those reading this article who are married, lie number five is that porn will help you desire and love your spouse more. It cannot! In Matthew 5:28 Jesus states; “But I say unto you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery in his heart.”(NKJV) Then He goes on in verse 29 to talk about the eye, then the next verse talks about sinning with the hand as if the subjects go together and he concludes his topic by warning about eternal destruction! Wow Jesus made some strong statements while He was on that topic! It is self-evident that Jesus knew that there is no way committing the sin of adultery could ever help either you or your spouse desire each other more. Your spouse cannot ever be ok with you thinking about being with someone else!
Pornography is marketed with a boatload of destructive lies. Never allow yourself to be sold on the false promises of those lies.